Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The penn pens down her puns! (Part 1)

I just realized how much i like penning down my thoughts and now that i'm quite literally 'penning' it down, it makes for a good pun.
Now now, don't get frightened by the title and the opening sentence. No matter how 'punny' i might be, i don't intend to make your eyes and ears bleed (or lets atleast hope not)
Talking about making ears bleed, you know why i luvvv ( emphasis on the 'v'.. this is a new obsession i picked up from someone) travelling?? OK, there are a LOT of reasons, but one of them is the amazing conversations that you get to overhear. Some you may directly be a part of, some you over hear.
I'm more of a silent observer so i end up hearing more 'interesting' conversations than being a part of them. Come now, don't give me that eye-roll and brand me as an eavesdropper. You can't blame me if people around me decide to speak really loudly in languages i'm familiar with can you ;)
It's as if fate wants me to document these guffaw worthy conversations.. and thats exactly what i intend to do..

(In an hilariously interesting order, here goes)

#1 You're my honey-bunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin!

Everyone has their first crush at a different age.. I've seen my friends go gaga over Hrithik Roshan post 'Kaho Na Pyaar Hai' ( and that was like nearly 10 years back). I've seen my friends write 'love letters' out to a guy in my class as early as the 3rd standard.. And i've even heard of some friends having an innocent crush on their kindergarten teachers.. Me? well i had my first crush just a few months back.. Yes, i AM romantically challenged..

So this was a conversation i heard on a bus from the Kochi to Guruvayur, between the teo 'young ladies' who were sittinng in front of me. Now before i start with their actual conversation, let me describe them for you..
The first one, lets call her Riya was all of 4 feet. Dressed in denim capris teamed with a white shirt with Hannah Montana's face on it, she sure was in touch with the current fashion for an 8 year old.
Her friend/ cousin, who looked slightly older, lets call her Priya looked far more simpler than our uber modern Riya unless ofcourse you were more observant. Priya had obviously sneaked into her mother's vanity case and had tried on some blue eyeshadow (to go with her outfit ofcourse) and had a different nail color on every nail.. Which brings us back to our conversation..

Riya: You're wearing eye-shadow va?
Priya: Ammaam, first i thought i'd wear my new green dress but my green eyeshadow is over, so i thought i'd wear blue itself.
Riya: Cha! so lucky you are, my amma doesn't let me touch her makeup. But why are you wearing different colored nail polish on each finger?
Priya: It's couture!!
Riya: Oh couture is a new brand uh? i wear only lakme
Priya: No No. Couture means 'Style'
Riya: oh apdiya? But if i wear like this and all, my boy friend won't like it.
*Deepti falls of her seat*
Priya: What?? you have a boy friend uh??
Riya: Ya, this is my third boyfriend.. Why? You don't have uh??
Priya: Ofcourse i have * VERY defensive tone* but i'm fighting with him now.. um.. so what's your boy friend's name?
Riya: His name is Swaadhistan, but i call him Swadoo *blush*
*Deepti thinks she's going to puke*
Priya: oh oh ok.. So you love him uh?
Riya: Ya ya.. look *points at plastic 'tweety' ring* He gave me this.
Priya: That's cute, but my boy friend gives me real jewelry *points at her chain which has heart locket on it* MY boyfriend gave me this for my birthday.
*Deepti searches for hard object to bang her head against*
Riya: Do you think you'll marry your boyfriend?
Priya: Let's see ya.. right now i'm having a fight with him because i saw him holding hands with his ex.. she sits in the bench next to his, so they get to talk during classes also. I've to sit in the front row cos of my height.. If they get back together, then that's all

* Deepti decides to jump off bus, but thankfully Riya's mom comes to check on them and the girls hush up*

Ah! young love, so naive, so immature, so .. so.. so.. BARF-WORTHY!!

#2 Love love me do.. How do i propose, if only i knew..

This i heard in the waiting lounge at the Kochin airport. There's this thing about Mallus.. they talk a lot.. and i mean, a LOT!! and they don't mind being overheard, infact sometimes they want to be.
So there i was, looking as Maru as possible with all my shiny bling and mehendi adorned hands (hey, I had an engagement to attend), one out of the three occupants of the lounge.. The other two, were these two mallus, airport helpers,lets call them meesai1 and meesai2

(the convo which was originally in mallu has been translated, not cos yu don't know mallu but cos i don't know mallu pronunciations :P)

Messai 1: Dude, look at that north-indian sitting there.. looks our age only..
Messai2: huh? hmm..
Messai1: What's with you dude? Things bad with shajeena?
Messai2: hmm..No.. thing is, things are getting serious.
Messai1: Serious? what're you talking bout bro?
Messai2 * pulls out a ring* i'm thinking of proposing to her
Messai1: WOAH!!!
Messai2: Thats all you're gonna say?
Messai1: Well what else did yu expect me to.. its suicide dude
Messai2: But i really love her.. tell me.. how do i propose
Messai1: Get down on your knees and shove the ring in her face... If she says NO, run for it before she changes her mind, if she says yes, jump from the nearest building.
Messai2: NOT funny!
Messai1: OK, hmm whats her favourite flower?
Messai2: I don't know
Messai1: OK, whats her favourite chocolate?
Messai2: I don't know
Messai1: What DO yu know bout her?
Messai 2: that i'm in love with her.. * laughs*
Messai 1: oh please.. ok where did yu meet her for the first time?
Messai2 : On a bus.
Messai1: That's it then
Messai2: What's it.
Messai1; ask her out on a bus.
Messai2: er? on a bus??
Messai1: yea dude.. when she passes money for the ticket, pass her a ring back with the ticket
Messai2: if i'm with her, why wud i make her buy the ticket?
Messai1: OK, make the conductor give her the ring.
Messai2: Then she'll think the conductor is proposing to her.
Messai1: Point.. Take her on a long bus trip and get her groundnuts
Messai2: How will that help?
Messai1: Shove the ring into her cone of groundnuts..

Unfortunately, that is when i had to leave.. So i'm still wondering how that guy asked his girlfriend out.. I mean i've heard of many a 'nutty' proposal, but this sure beats them all.. ;P

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The 'Saal Ka Last With a Blast' Series

Most people are known to take resolutions in the new year, ( and give it up two weeks into the year) but I'm thinking, why not change traditions a bit??
I mean when you give up your traditions so early in the year you're loomed with a sense of guilt (for a while at least), so why not adopt a technique where you can try something new, and give it up before you get bored of it..
Presenting, the 'Saal ka last with a Blast' plan..

Well, every year you start off with ambitious dreams of what you want that year to be like and you'd have barely done anything on this list of yours by the end of the year.. I know that's true for me.. For instance, i wanted to start swimming again this year..( I went for precisely one week, caught a cold and gave up).
I wanted to bell the CAT this year (hehehehe hahahaha hohohohoh.. OK I'm not even gonna start on that)
I wanted to make more time for my friends( Considering i haven't met my best friend who lives like 3 kilometers away in over 2 months, THAT resolution clearly didn't happen)

But but but, the saal ka last with a blast ( phew it's a task to type that every time, let's just call it sklwab) is not about reminiscing(?!) the past, but kicking ass in the future..

So here's the plan, there's a week to new years and I'm gonna squeeze in as much of my resolutions into this one week..

Starting with writing more often ( considering i might have to disappear to mallu land where the Internet is slower than a pregnant snail, this might be tough. But i can always write out posts the old school way and publish online later.. muahahaha that way, i can even cheat :P )

Get back to swimming ( THIS is VERY achievable..yay!! )

Read all the books I'd picked up this year.

Staying connected with my friends ( errrr again a toughie since i wont be in town.. but the three days to new years are full on dedicated to them)

And the list probably goes on and on and on.. i mean after all it's not just for new years that we make resolutions..

So there it is.. my BIG PLAN.. wish me luck!!