Friday, January 15, 2010

We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.

They look at me and they know I'm different, they know I'm not one of them and perhaps i never will be..
They love the sun and welcome it with open arms, i cringe away from the blazing sol.. They bring out their silly little umbrella's when the heaven's roar, while i come out from behind the shadows and acknowledge the deluge and 'bask' in the flurry..

They seem to be ignorant to that 'scent'.. That scent that exudes from their skin, from every molecule that makes them, that scent that flows in them and with them, while I can smell it from miles away.. Every time that pungent odour hits me, i feel like 'going for their throat'...

They fumble while carrying the lightest of bags and stare at me as i stride past them with my 30 kg backpack without flinching even once.. They comment about my strength.. Little do they know..

They stare as my eyes glisten in the light, the shade of a smoked topaz perhaps.. They check in the mirror at their own..

They loudly slurp down fish and rice, and wait for me to do the same.. I get quizzical looks as i push my plate away.. Little do they know about my own 'special little diet'

They observe my strong jaw line as compared to their round faces.. My long fingers as compared to their short stumpy appendages.. My sharp distinct features as compared to their stereotypes.. They know i do not belong in their world..

I hear their constant buzzing, somethings they say, some things they don't and i still hear.. I laugh at their 'loud thoughts' and they stare at me again.. Looking at my teeth that are framed by my scarlet lips, they gasp as the light twinkles off the tip of my canines..

They wonder who i am.. They wonder why i'm different..
They look, they stare,
to themselves my features they compare..
They think, they ponder
and still look back with wonder..
they'll never solve the mystery that is me..
I am neither good, nor bad, neither angel nor devil, I am a man, I am a vampire.
(Ok ok i'm not a vampire, but i do feel like one with the weird looks i get every time i'm back 'home'.. I don't look like them, neither do i speak like them and this irritates them... They keep trying to figure me out as i switch my speech from one language to the other, from one accent to the next.. I can't stand eating fish and i'm not a big fan of rice, but what i do like is confusing those several people who stare at me and wonder where i came from, Being an enigma can be fun..Being a fraud mallu can be fun )